All I Knew

The tight feeling in my chest as you utter the words I've always dreaded. The cliche term "It's not you, it's me" echoing through the phone. How could you not have the decency & common courtesy to tell me to my face that you wanted out.? I should have known things would come to this. You changed and it was so very obvious. Always accusing me of wrong doings when I present absolutely NO fuel for that fire. It was your guilty conscious getting the very best of you. The rumors of Michelle and Stacey. Erica & Tracy. Taliah & even the MAC worker at Macy's had gotten to me. Late night phone calls that had to be taken out of ear shot. The cancelling of plan with bogus excuses that didn't hold up later down the line. The accidental name mix ups and much more. Never once did I question you. Nor did I flip out. Kept my composure and remained silent. Doesn't the saying go "a lady is to be seen and not heard."? Well that's what I did. Tear streaked pillows with the indents from my arms embracing them ever so tightly on my lonely nights. Wondering what I had done to deserve such inconsiderate & unfair treatment from a man...pardon a boy that I loved. I am not shocked by this. Not a sliver of unexpectance in me. The part that hurts the most is that I let it go on for so long. Why did I play the fool for soooo long.? I know. . . because you were all I knew.

Finger Pointing

You see everyone points the finger at others. Thinking that they're "keepin it real". "i'm just sayin". "just keepin it one hunnet". That's what people honestly believe. I've even pointed my finger at others as well. Yet what you don't realize is there are THREE fingers pointing back at you.! So to the girl calling another girl ratchet, you've probably been there before yourself. That guy that's saying the next guy is fake is 9 times out of 10 just as fake. If not more. The boy/man that constantly downs women has no room to talk. That is the most popular case. A guy calling a woman a ho, whore, slut, trick, tramp, ratchet, etc...yet he has slept with her Godsister, cousin, ex-best friend, new best friend, arch enemy, and if given the opportunity he'd probably screw her mother. How can he really talk.? Or there's that one girl who calls all the other girls out on how many guys she's had sex with yet her number is probably higher than the rest. The only difference is hers was more low profile than the other girls she constantly downs. Everyone is guilty of passing judgement on someone tho we were not in better predicaments. Then you have people who are name slayers. Girls that get drunk and have sex with guys then blame the alcohol or say someone took advantage of them once their love/lust interest finds out. Guys who throw homies & bros under the bus once they get discovered pushing up on someones girlfriend, boo, baby mama, etc. No one has room to talk about nooooo one. Truth be told, if there was a big pow wow, round table, sit down, conference, or whatever you want to call it...alot of people would be getting called out. Make no mistake about what I'm sayin...I am no different. This is not to down anyone or put anyone out there. I'm just speaking in general. If you fit the category then you may want to watch who you are trying to degrade to make yourself look better.

Yet Again

So we at it again...

It's wrong yet feels right

tho we meet after light

and we've called quits

yet we did it again.

I'm so dramatic again

before we go at it

i get mad

& we go at it again.

You hate me & you love me

but I'm your favorite again

Stretching time, i once felt

you were mine, yet we fakin again

We blew it, you knew it

there she go textin again.

I hate it yet I'm naked

& you didn't hesitate

to taste me again.

Now we goin & you

comin, oh I'm comin again...

& again

I can't let him again,

'cuz I'll love him & & hate him

& fight him again.

Damnit it's over again.!

Yet he's on my mind again

how I loved him

now she hugs him

& i hate her again

It's not her fault

but I can't blame me

for him

Loving, no...lusting

& playing to win.

This love/lust affair

has got to be a sin,

So I'll hate him & love him,

& lust him, my friend.

But I must find a new lover & friend

I bid you farewell &

I do say

Goodbye yet again.