All I Knew

The tight feeling in my chest as you utter the words I've always dreaded. The cliche term "It's not you, it's me" echoing through the phone. How could you not have the decency & common courtesy to tell me to my face that you wanted out.? I should have known things would come to this. You changed and it was so very obvious. Always accusing me of wrong doings when I present absolutely NO fuel for that fire. It was your guilty conscious getting the very best of you. The rumors of Michelle and Stacey. Erica & Tracy. Taliah & even the MAC worker at Macy's had gotten to me. Late night phone calls that had to be taken out of ear shot. The cancelling of plan with bogus excuses that didn't hold up later down the line. The accidental name mix ups and much more. Never once did I question you. Nor did I flip out. Kept my composure and remained silent. Doesn't the saying go "a lady is to be seen and not heard."? Well that's what I did. Tear streaked pillows with the indents from my arms embracing them ever so tightly on my lonely nights. Wondering what I had done to deserve such inconsiderate & unfair treatment from a man...pardon a boy that I loved. I am not shocked by this. Not a sliver of unexpectance in me. The part that hurts the most is that I let it go on for so long. Why did I play the fool for soooo long.? I know. . . because you were all I knew.